m-f inc.
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tue, oct 21st, '08  ♦  04:52am
mood irate

i'm going to be nice, i'm going to shush, i'm going to...

ok, ya'll know what? u-turn ahead. even if it's in one year coming.

i'm going to be nice, i'm going to shush, i'll be counting my days.

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fri, oct 10th, '08  ♦  05:50pm

new comments today;

i find it just a little frustrating how most people apparently do NOT know how to read. nevertheless, absolutely fascinating.

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tue, oct 7th, '08  ♦  07:31pm
survey stolen from sara

A survey!Collapse )

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fri, oct 3rd, '08  ♦  03:09am

it's not real if it's not written down.
it's not real if it's not written down.
it's not real if it's not written down.

it's not real.

and i know i've said this before...

wed, oct 1st, '08  ♦  04:21am

my job keeps on cracking me up and up. i cannot wait to finish that "white slavery" movie. no, really!

reason #40392 why my life is weird;
i got a christmas card in the mail earlier in the week.

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mon, sep 29th, '08  ♦  12:31am

oh my fucking god.


my heart is gonna drop to the floor.

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sat, sep 27th, '08  ♦  09:38pm


locked in my memories
there's nowhere left for me to hide
but i am not real
i've made all I am with lies
why does it seem that everything's different?
why does it seem that only you are real?
i don't believe in anything sacred
so, why do I feel so damned alone?

i need someone to break the silence
that's screaming in my head
and in my soul»

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fri, sep 26th, '08  ♦  01:39am

i'm turning increasingly superstitious, these days.

act I — heading to the bathroom in the (too early) morning and hearing a loud buzzing sound. looking around.....nothing. «what is this crap, candyman?!». and then finally i saw it. wasp alert! i'm not sure, though i think tatanou finished it off. ~shrug~

act II — looking outside through the bus window near the end of champlain bridge, just as i'm looking at him, a motorcyclist whose bike suddenly falls over to its right side. falling over. on champlain. in the morning traffic and cars speeding.

act III — lights turning red on a downtown street. not wanting to wait therefore crossing a little farther down instead. as i'm stepping onto the sidewalk-type thingie in the middle, pigeons in the trees. maybe a dozen of them, including a white one. suddenly they leave their trees and started swirling around me. completely surrounding me, looking at me, for a good half-minute... to finally go back to their trees. given this particular location, i can't help but wonder.

meaning, please?!

i tried looking up symbolism, albeit sadly this is all i could dig up about the birds:
  • «Pigeon: An indication of some tattle-taling or gossip. News may be arriving soon after dreaming of a pigeon.»
  • «Pigeon: Love and security of home, fertility, archetypal energies.»
  • «Pigeon: If a white pigeon is seen flying round a house, the engagement or marriage of one of the inmates in the near future may be inferred.»
  • «BIRDS: Flying birds are a sign of prosperity to the dreamer.»
    but it wasn't a dream. so.

    i think life is trying to communicate something with me here.

    some kind of deathly suspenseful deal.

    my brain's constantly on shuffle. why why why. why do people i don't like always seem prone to like me while people i seem to like are prone to remain indifferent? why can't stinky people just stay home, unless they don't have one in the first place? why did this woman in front of me pick this shirt to wear today and how did it come about that she bought it in the first place?!

    on the bus back home this late afternoon, a man went to sit on the closest available seat, when he looks up and notices me further back and (i knew it, i knew it) to my dismay over such a typical situation, chooses to come sit beside me instead. okay. which brings us to another why. why oh why is that so difficult for a suburban man to sit beside another suburban man? honestly, does it really matter that much if your d*ck is inches away from another d*ck for a mere half-hour?


    5:50am up
    7:30pm sleep
    10:30pm up
    2:30am sleep

    i'm feeling very much like;

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    mon, sep 22nd, '08  ♦  01:54am
    mood excited

    someone's gonna have couscous for lunch todayyyyy.

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    1 comment

    thu, sep 18th, '08  ♦  01:30am
    mood tired

    good is on the left and evil is on the right. and for once i am not standing in the middle.

    my hair hasn't been blonde for the last 2 days and i always seem to get startled a little for those first few seconds that i stare into the mirror.

    i wake up, it's a little before 6 post mere hours of sleep. skipping breakfast altogether so my hair can look straight. worthy cause.

    and my employee pass. enough already with the buzzing.

    i've been closed-captioning so much "life with derek" that the opening song is stuck into my brain. for whatever brain i've got left anyway, at the time being, turning more zombie-like each day that goes by from all that lack of sleep.

    my life is entertaining me to no end lately.

    i went back home at dinner time for approx 45 minutes, rush-rush-rushing, then got back on the bus. it's probably kind of frivolous of me going out when i'm that sleep deprived, but anyway. martha wainwright was playing at the apple store (for free!) tonight and i decided to go check it out. i had no idea this was even happening until yesterday, but figured, okay what the hell...i'm going to be tired either way. really.

    now of course i just had to stop at that other over there before anything. it was a little past 7 so both to my dismay and relief, the store had just been closed down for the day. in fact, everything was closed down. and there was barely anyone left sitting at the court. nevertheless, i had to stop at my usual table to properly pack my things. to eventually get going. now as i'm walking towards exit left and just as i'm crossing the store windows what do i know but HE'S STILL HERE. he pops out of nowhere, walking to the counter, talking on his cell. and i die. .....wait, [almost stopping]........ do i actually turn around? ... that's when i convinced myself that i was scary and needed to head outside already trying my best to blank-think.


    damn a lot.

    (i should probably censor myself from time to time then again my life is just too much to be censored.)

    and, a little rain?
    talk about pouring rain, is more likely.

    in line waiting for the live thing, i'm stuck between two intellectual guys and the weirdest amerindien-chinese-mixed-looking short woman who just wouldn't shut the fuck up, even though her words didn't make any sense whatsoever. lisa-marie came, too! with her brother. it was really nice to meet and we had a good evening overall. martha's so fun in that "oh, whatever!" way. i chatted with her (in french, neat) briefly after the set and, oh i don't know, i had in mind to ask about if a family christmas concert would be happening in montreal this year or if only in new york, but that totally slipped my mind. instead i found myself plugging my designs for the t-shirt contest. um! she was really really nice, too, way friendly.

    sitting in my seat on the bus getting ready to get back home, i'm flabbergasted. i mean. i'm f-l-a-b-b-e-r-g-a-s-t-e-d. unexpectedly it's an express bus, therefore yes it's full, and there's quite a few persons standing in the middle aisle. then there's that fucker sitting on the other side who categorically refuses to free the seat beside him because his freaking box is sitting by his side. in disbelief, the woman in front of me had to point it out to him that he should/could put his box in the aisle instead, so that the 80 years old man standing in the aisle would be able to sit for this rather long ride. then he got real angry: «look!! i paid [whichever the amount was] for that [again, whichever thing] there's absolutely NO WAY that this box is leaving this seat. you hear? NO WAY!!!». just...holy fuck. pinch me? the woman then offered her seat to the old man, twice more than once, but he just couldn't find it in him to accept it. i must say here that this entirely restored my faith in human beings, as it got re-destroyed solely glimpsing over mister big box fucker's way. and.....for the final act! now i'm not sure exactly how that came about, perhaps when the woman got off, but soon thereafter the driver actually stopped the bus, walked into the aisle and made this super wonderful speech about selfish people keeping extra seats for their bags/boxes, especially so when the bus is as packed as it was tonight. he even said that the next time this happens he's actually dropping the faulty people off the bus. !! oh, this was GOOD. i even had to congratulate him for his words when i got off.

    now, bed.

    more craziness to ensue later on.

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    fri, sep 5th, '08  ♦  10:54pm
    tonight's on repeat

    «half underwater
    i'm half my mother's daughter
    a fraction's left up to dispute
    the whole collection
    half off the price they're asking
    in the halfway house of ill repute

    half accidental
    half pain full instrumental
    i have a lot to think about
    you think they're joking?
    you have to go provoke him...
    i guess it's high time you found out

    it's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong
    you'll notice something funny if you hang around here for too
    long ago in some black hole before they had these pills to take it back
    i'm half jill
    and half jack

    two halves are equal
    a cross between two evils
    it's not an enviable lot
    but if you listen
    you'll learn to hear the difference
    between the halfs and the half nots

    and when i let him in i feel my stitches getting sicker
    i try to wash him out but like she said:the blood is thicker
    i see my mother in my face
    but only when i travel
    i run as fast as i can run
    jack comes tumbling after....

    and when i'm brave enough and find a clever way to kick him out
    and i'm so high not even you and all your love could bring me down
    on 83rd he never found the magic words to change this fact:
    i'm half jill
    and half jack

    i'm halfway home now
    half hoping
    for a showdown
    cause i'm not big enough to house this crowd
    it might destroy me
    but i'd sacrifice my body
    if it meant i'd get the jack part OUT





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    sat, aug 30th, '08  ♦  04:39am

    i don't know what's gotten into me tonight but i'm listening to the tea party again after ages and ages and ages. wow this feels weird. soundtrack to my early twenties. no kidding.

    friday productivity;


    i finally called to order my batch of contact lenses this afternoon. i'm going to be full equipped for an entire year. hee. but this mail-in rebate thing better work out. or else...!


    i got whatever i had left of american money exchanged back to canadian.


    i found jeans at winners this evening. jeans that i FIT INTO. ~gasp~ so i bought them. what else could i do.

    though i suppose the big news of the week remains my getting called back about the job. that job which i really wanted and applied for before leaving to albany. this is a part i skipped writing about here, but upon my return they called back for me to come pass some french/english tests. which i did last week. on a hot day, having forgotten to recharge my mp3 player's battery, trying to ignore the people on the streets staring more than usual for whatever reason, walking from champlain to jacques-cartier bridges (both ways) because i'm crazy like that and loved it, and accepting the nicest compliment about my hair coming from a total stranger on the sidewalk which for once didn't seem creepy at all (i love the village). so i passed the tests and afterwards, feeling quite confident about the english part, yet not so much about the french one. the general "culture" questions totally came as a surprise as well.
    questions such as;
    - «what italian city is known as the cradle of renaissance?»
    - «what is the former geographical home of istanbul?»
    - «who directed the film "citizen kane"?»
    - «who commits suicide in shakespear's "hamlet"?»
    - «where is the sea of tranquility?»
    - «who sculpted "the thinker"?»
    - «what is an epicure?»
    - «the vast desert in central australia is referred to as?»
    now i know lots of things. sadly only the most random of things. not exactly that type of things. i wouldn't have been that surprised if they hadn't called me back this week, but, they did. ha. i have an interview with a typing speed test next wednesday. good good gooood.

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    tue, aug 12th, '08  ♦  04:54pm

    my "tickets re-selling business" is getting stranger and stranger. i loves it.

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    tue, aug 12th, '08  ♦  05:29am



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    mon, jul 21st, '08  ♦  01:05pm

    updated upcoming concerts schedule;Collapse )

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    thu, jul 17th, '08  ♦  03:33pm
    tickets re-selling, oh, humour me please

    sometimes i like it sometimes i love it albeit it's always with rather strange understones.

    here is a perfect example of that;Collapse )

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    mon, jul 14th, '08  ♦  02:23am

    ever since friday i've been on youtube a lot wasting my time away. even now when i should be in bed as i'm starting that new job in the morning. oh oh!Collapse )

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    fri, jul 11th, '08  ♦  05:28am
    shirley solo whaaat

    oh boy! it's weird how fast time can fly and we're all stuck growing old together.

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    mon, jun 30th, '08  ♦  05:33pm

    my new etsy shop is officially open!

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    thu, jun 26th, '08  ♦  11:25am

    i'm leaving awfully soon for my surgery. TODAY.


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